My little buddy

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Newest Member of the Heart Disease Club?


Well. Probably.

Ok, ok. Almost certainly.

The question is when.

As of this moment, it's a no. In all my bloodwork, my CRP is measured. CRP stands for C-reactive protein. It's a protein made by the liver, and levels indicate the amount of inflammation in ones body. hs-CRP (high sensitivity CRP) can indicate the risk of CVD. A CRP of 2 or higher generally means that a person will most likely develop CVD.

My CRP was 7.1.

That, coupled with my family history of CVD (my father's family is riddled with it) and my family history of diabetes (my mother's side) and the PVC's she could hear when she listened to my heart and the palpitations I have been having for the past couple of years and the infrequent queer sensation and near pain in my chest the last several months, she decided to order an echo and an ECG.

This should be interesting.

So what to do? Well the obvious would be to lose weight. Right? It's always easier said than done. But it's something that I need to do. Damn it.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Can The World Come To An End?

Well, apparently, mine can.

The last week has been pretty tough. It's just been one thing after another.

Early Tuesday morning, we got the call that Grammy had died in her sleep only a few minutes before that. It was awful to sit there listening to my mother on the phone with my aunt Sharon; to know that my second mother, the woman who helped raise me, was gone forever. I knew it was coming. But I thought she would at least make it to a home care center.

Thursday was the visitation. It was a very long day. It was difficult to see Grammy layed out in the coffin, but she looked good. Her hair was good - like Mary said - "not too flat, not too pouffy", she would have liked it. Some of the things that meant the most to me that day - my friends visiting - I was so touched when T showed up; actually sharing a hug with one of my aunts (we're not a huggy bunch); getting the opportunity to see the next generation of Wilsons.

Friday was a hard day, but easier to accept because Grammy was obviously in a better place. The weather was dreadful - the priest actually ran off the road on the way to the service and one of my aunts picked him up. The funeral service was lovely; very traditional Catholic ceremony. Grammy would have loved it. She would have been mortified that the priest ran off the road, but she would have been happy with the service. And the fact that her favourite priest presided over it.

Saturday was my lowest point. I woke up with it being what I thought was my lowest point. It only went downhill after that. I thought I would be spending part of the day with my BFF, which was the only bright spot on the horizon. I really needed a pick me up and maybe a good cry. But I was quickly disabused of that idea since her BF arrived a day early because of the weather. It was obvious that whatever we did had to include him. And normally that would have been fine. But that day, I really needed some girl time with my BFF; not to break down in front of a complete stranger. I think it was the suckiest day so far.

Sunday, well, we spent that at my Grammy's house. It feels so empty without her. So many of her things, her family pics, have been moved into storage by my aunt - already. I found that a little hard to take. Now comes the hard part - how and when the estate will be taken care of, to be divided between the children. Some of the vultures will want their money yesterday, while others will be ok with waiting. I know it's selfish, but I would like to keep the house in the family for a little longer. I wish I could afford to buy it. While it's on the edge of Hell, it's the family home; it's my second home and I don't want to see it destroyed.

I can always cross my fingers that I will win the lottery so I can buy it, huh?