My little buddy

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

It's Been a While

I know, I know! I have been delinquent in posting lately. There are reasons. Some of them mundane like being exhausted, some of them very personal like upheaval with my health and a friendship. Needless to say, I have not had the desire to post anything lately.

The past month has been a whirlwind of:
  • vet's visits for Sunny's bee sting (we're up to 4 now and three medications)
  • daycare goodbyes for Jessica
  • daycare hellos for newby Foster
  • a wonderful visit with Lauren
  • trying to do as much as possible with Sarah before she headed back to GM
  • an impromptu trip to NH to see my aunt who was suddenly hospitalized and diagnosed with congestive heart failure
  • being exhausted, dealing with back & hip pain
  • coming to the conclusion that the end of a close friendship is actually much healthier for me than trying to cling to it, trying to be someone I'm not just to conform (thank you Mary Magdalen Horrowitz! LOL!)
  • dealing with a snotty dog who is going through his terrible twos!
  • trying to get out and do some mini vacays
  • finding out that my doctor's staff has totally dropped the ball and never scheduled any of the things my doctor wanted done ... IN JUNE!
  • trying to get my doctor's nurse to fix the mess she has created ... I am on my third week of calls
  • dealing with the construction on my street ... wasn't that big of a problem until this morning when the excavator almost crushed my truck as I was driving out of my driveway
  • planning field trips for the kids

My biggest problem that makes all the other problems seem so much worse is my health - the weight, the exhaustion, the pain. And because of that, I have made the promise to myself to try and put more effort into me and my health. I have been accused of being selfish and self-centered and maybe I am. And maybe my deciding to do more for myself makes me more selfish and self-centered, but I believe if I do not do this I will be dealing with a whole host of problems that will make everything pale in comparison.

The first step for my health has been to let go of relationships that aren't healthy - it's actually been a great relief mentally and emotionally. The last two years have been a mental and emotional rollercoaster. This last week, after having given a lot of thought to it and making the decision to move forward, I have been feeling great mentally and emotionally. That just reinforces to me that I made the correct decision.

The second step has been harder. The first week of June, my doctor told me she was scheduling a full abdominal ultrasound, a gynie referral and several other things. I called Central Scheduling three weeks ago to find out what was going on and lo and behold - NOTHING! The nurse has screwed everything up. I have been on the phone with the doctor's office several times trying to resolve this. I am getting nowhere. I had a couple of prescriptions that needed refills so I went to Dr. Tingley's walk-in clinic this morning at Brookside. While I was there, I asked Cheryl for advice on what to do (since Dr. Tingley used to be my doctor), so now I know what I need to do this week to get results. Hopefully this works.

Third step is getting my eating under control. And that is going to be the hardest of all. I love to eat. I love food. But unfortunately, I also am a big emotional eater. And that is something I have to deal with. It's going to be an uphill battle. But after watching something yesterday, I now know that if I don't do this now, I never will.

Fourth step is getting on the go. I have to move. I have to get out and move my ass. I love exercising when I am actually doing it. It's just making myself do it that is the problem. I need to rediscover that love of working out.

And the fifth and final step - I need to have more fun. Fun is underestimated by all of us. Just pure, simple fun ... something I was reminded of when watching Randy Pausch's lecture again.